May 4, 2023
Fay, Ruth M.
Ruth Mary (Smigielski) Fay, a longtime resident of Dedham, died Monday, May 1st, 2023 at the Milton Hospital in Milton, Massachusetts. She was 81. Ruth was born August 18, 1941, the only daughter of Henry Thaddeus and Mary C. (Lewon) Smigielski. She graduated from Hyde Park High School and worked in the reconciliation department at the Dedham Institution for Savings. Ruth was married for 61 years to the late Joseph Wilfred Fay who predeceased her on May 31, 2022. She was the sister of the late Henry T. Smigielski and is survived by her four daughters, Cynthia Mongeon of Dedham, Judith Gorman of North Carolina, Laura Fay of Webster, and Jennifer Fay of Dedham; as well as 2 granddaughters and three great grandchildren. Visitation will be held Saturday, May 6th from 4 to 7 pm at the Folsom Funeral Home, 87 Milton Street, Dedham. Interment will be private. Donations to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, 501 Saint Jude Place, Memphis, TN 38105 would be appreciated
Comments(2)
I want to thank all the family and friends who came to pay their respects to my mom. The following is the tribute I would have liked to read at her service had I been able.
Dear Ma,
I miss you already. I know you are in heaven with Dad now. I can see you on the couch watching TV. You each have your own remote and you’re trying to change the channel at the same time. It’s the continued “battle of the remotes” up there.
This would be no tribute without mentioning your baking. Your famous chocolate chip cookies, your NY cheesecake, your rum balls, Polish pastries, brownies and baklava were the highlight of every holiday. And even when you were a young mother with three small kids, we started a tradition when I was four. I always got a homemade cake from you on my birthday. Incidentally my relationship with Joey was cemented the first time he tried your cheesecake. Prior to that he didn’t want much to do with his stepmom. But then suddenly he showed a keen interest in me, my family. And when the next party was! and would my mother be making her cheesecake? Thanks for helping me break the ice, Ma.
We never figured out how you could eat Friendlie’s Ice Cream (toasted almond fudge) on the regular and still manage to look like a model. On top of that your amazing tan each year was something everyone envied.
I have a memory of us kids gathering around your chair to help you frost your hair by pulling it through a cap with crochet hooks. Whether frosted or beehive it always looked perfect and I would watch you take a dip in the pool, long graceful strokes without ever gettting it wet! You looked to me like a movie star.
You and Dad passed on a love of all kinds of music but if I had to quantify it with one word that word would be Elvis. Yes, at 65 Reed Street the holiday season never officially started until we heard Blue Christmas being played on the stereo. cont’d
cont’d
Other memories:
-the time we tricked you into coming upstairs to Grammie and Gramps’ apartment for your surprise party by telling you Judy got her arm stuck in the radiator
-the time a squirrel came down the chimney into the basement and scared the bejesus out of you.
– the time “Aunt” Noreen came to visit and we got to met your outspoken ,fun-loving best friend who lived all the way in San Francisco!
-the time we hired an Elvis impersonator for you and Dad’s anniversary
-the time you and Grammie took us to see Dog Day Afternoon and didn’t flinch when when people had comments about bringing kids to an R rated movie
-how I always managed to call from Florida when you were in the shower
I am proud to be the one who brought all three cats into your life. Watching you love and enjoy them was wonderful. Except for that time you told me I couldn’t sit in the good chair because Rebel was sitting there, and I thought “what have I created?”! When Grammie moved in with you and Dad later it felt so good to hear how Scamp and Muffin kept you all entertained. I am grateful that in 2018 you resolved to continue with your cancer treatments in spite of the pain. You were so strong for us Ma. It gave me a few more years with you. It gave me many precious moments on the couch with you, watching Monk and Big Bang Theory and laughing together. Moments I will hold in my heart forever.
I have suffered from mental illness most of my life, Ma and I know this caused a distance between us. It hurts beyond measure that I was not there to say bye to Dad or to help with your care-things I had planned my whole life on doing. Even with treatment my mental health prevented me from being there for the last leg of the race, and at times that is overwhelming. It was not for lack of trying, Ma, and I know you know that. I can’t control when people are purposely hurtful because they view the effects of my condition as intentional rather than something beyond my control. So I am devastated I did not get to hold or hug you one last time. I am beyond grateful that I was able to call and tell you how sorry I was about everything .I take comfort in our last conversation and hearing you say unequivocally that it was not your wish to have me excluded from the family. You had my back Ma. It meant the world to me. And so did you.
Love,
your daughter,
Laura Jean